Is Sex All You Have To Give?
I have always avoided this topic to a certain degree. I mean it's none of my business what people tend to do with their lives.
And I don't really like being so judgmental, so whatever it is one does with their life shouldn't affect or bother me in any way.
If a person chooses to be the way they are and act they were they want, it's not in our place to question them.
But then, some matters should still and always be addressed no matter what.
I was going through some articles from my fellow writers when I stumbled over one particular article from Davinchysax title "Why do you see it as a means of Payment?"
In the article, he gave his own opinion about the said topic and what he thinks of it, and what it really should be for both genders.
But here is my question and what saddens my heart whenever such issues are been addressed or such matter/topic arises.
Is Sex All You Have To Give?
For whatever reason one decided to go into a relationship, I don't know but I am asking, did they actually sign some sort of documents or agreement about making payments in the form of sex in the relationship?
Why must they offer their bodies in exchange for whatever flawed reason there is? Why must they see sex as the only payment for whatever it is a guy (most especially) is offering them in the said relationship?
If it isn't mutual then doesn't it appear more like a payment? Because you feel indebted to this person so you think the only way to repay them or pay them back for whatever it is or thing they do for you in the relationship is to offer yourself as their sex tools.
Was relationship all about having sex for crying out loud? Is that all you've got to give? Can't two people just decide to date each other and think of something else and do another thing aside from sex?
When did sex become some kind of payment or responsibility in relationships?
What's about self-development and improvement? What about each other's growth? Can't those be used as better payment in relationships?
That you see your partner is struggling in one area of his or her life should be the best payment you can give such a person by helping them in those aspects.
I believe there is more to relationships than sex and having fun. There are better ways to make a relationship an enjoyable one for both parties and not more like trade by barter thing. Or a give and take.
Guys, making your partner feel they are indebted to you because of what you do for them as such asking them for sex beyond their wish or desire is the worse thing there is.
Ladies, giving your bodies even when you aren't ready for it or want it, but just so you can prove a useless point to your partner or not feel indebted to them is the lamest thing you could ever do.
Both parties should know and appreciate each other's worth and value whether sex is involved or not.
Sex shouldn't be seen as payment or reward for being in a relationship.
The day you start seeing sex as a reward for finally stepping into a relationship, the day you start making a mess of yourself and lowering your self-worth.
But all the same, we are all entitled to our lives, we do what pleases us and we are answerable to our decisions and choices in life.
So there is no need to be judgmental.
Whatever one chooses to do with their life shouldn't be your problem.
We all have our opinions about certain matters in life and our understanding of all these things is different too.
If you have no problem offering yourself as sex tools to please someone or repay them for whatever lame kindness they are showing to you then have fun! :)
Anyway, be wise with your choices and let it speak for you ;)
Still your baby girl ;)
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24 July 2021
Nice article, some young girls of our time doesn't see sex as anything again, they believe having sex with a man is a big favour meanwhile that's the best they can bring to the table, it's a pity, I hope those with this mentally com to realize it wrong
Did you just say that sex is the best they can bring to the table?
I would really appreciate your response to this before I go any further, thank you!
yes this exists, at the end of high school me and my significant other both didn't know what we wanted from life so agreed that we would not argue and just break it off once we started not enjoying anything, the sex was great so we both agreed it was worth the commitment. Nothing toxic about that, and we had the same arguments anyone else has about dishes and who left what mess lol.
Yeah totally agree there, consent is satans best friend.
Oh wow! I never really thought to some persons it was an agreement and that's good if for real both parties did agree to this, then it wouldn't be like one person is trying to pay up for anything.
Yeah a good domestic partnership or a open relationship is terms we used in Canada to explain our relationship to people.
That's a good one then dear.
@tipu curate
Upvoted 👌 (Mana: 24/64) Liquid rewards.
Thank you for the tip :)
Thank you for this wonderful topic and educated post, sex in relationships is not the right thing to give as an appreciation to your guy or parner.
Because giving your body to a guy which you don't know maybe he will marry you or not, it shows you are telling the guy you are so cheep and you can loose your value in the process.
Some guys are just met as chop and clean mouth, some are helping to you, because they want to get assess to your body.
Some girl see sex as a big girl and nowadays, girls don't value their virginity any more, all the believe is sex is a favour.
And some have loose their glory in the process of sex, some have dead in the process.
I believe they will learn and follow the best way.
Whatever be the case, it's individual's choices and they are entitled to what they choose to do with their bodies or lives.
But like you said, most girls, especially the Africans think having sex is some kind of achievement or that it is what makes them feel big and make them belong which is a very crooked mindset.
You know some people mentality is low and if they know that this life is nothing, and they are doing all those things is wasting of time.
Hmmm, I understand my dear but can we really so anything abbot it?
Firstly, the word "payment" shouldn't even exist in a relationship. You're probably seeing it as that because you think they should be one. Helping each other grow isn't payment for anything, neither is sex payment.
Secondly, feeling indebted to someone is in all field. Even though certain people intentionally make others feel so, but however, it most definitely happens in one way or the other. When one has found joy and happiness in someone, he/she will definitely feel indebted, so, to have it reciprocated, some figure sex is a pleasurable activity, so they offer it for their partners happiness.
SEX IS GENERALLY OVERRATED
...
It's just an activity and both individuals are exposed in the process!
Like I said everyone is entitled to their own opinions and whatever they feel or choose to make of their life is dependent on whatever they think of sex and feel in the relationship.
Like it or leave it this is what the world is turning into, and you know it is what it is. Some ladies feel they owe men some kind of payment in a relationship and some men, on the other hand, think a lady should mess up themselves all in the name of a relationship.
Haven't you heard things like, after all, I did for her, she is refusing me sex? And even things like, after giving him my body and all, he still did that to do?
Tell me you haven't heard those.
Why would that even be in the first place if they both parties didn't consider sex to be a payment for whatever each other are providing in a given relationship?
Of course it is, and of course, it is exposure. But it shouldn't be seen or made as a form of payment. Both parties should be willing to provide or do whatever it is they choose to do without feeling they are doing one person a favor or paying for what the other person did or does for them.
Thanks for stopping by for the first time, and for your opinion on this, it is appreciated!
Lol for the part of this being my first time.
The thing is, this just pop up on my feed and it was a topic up for debate, and I love healthy conversations, so why not?
I'm much glad it was well rewarded.
However, my response didn't in any way take sides, actually, it's against your introduction of the word "payment"
I quote again :
You're against sex being a payment medium but believe there should be payments but in other forms.
My contribution is that there shouldn't be any such thing as "payment" for anything.
Before I go into a relationship, I'll tell you straight up that I don't really care about rewards, what I contribute is just my said "love" in actions. If you love someone you should be able to do anything for that person, so bringing in the word "payment" is totally wrong. Whether sex or support, it shouldn't be addressed as payment, rather an act of love.
Yes, sex isn't originally a proof of love, but if one offers it as that, then it becomes a proof of love to that person.
People should be able to do things without expecting anything in return, but the human nature subconsciously expects rewards, and when it doesn't come, disappoint leads to anger and that's when one begins to use these lines "after all I've done"
@zellypearl There are other things grown ups can do with their lives while in relationship, but most times, we pray that we are led into temptation. Lol.
Then being a means of payment is totally flawed.
And definitely it shouldn't be the only one has to offer.
If I can't hold intellectual discussions with you, we ain't moving nowhere. Lol
At the it's their body. But no one should talk about heartbreak or being used where I am ooo.
😂😂 that's why I said I usually avoided this topic.
I mean it's none of my business. Na their headaches and wahala.
As for making it a form of payment is what I think is crooked and very wrong.
The difference between man and woman. Men are ruled by their physical nature, women, by their emotions. Not a bad thing.
Yea you aren't wrong about that.
Men by physical nature and women by emotions