Memoir of disguise

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This is it, I have lost again, the reality is cruel to me, and now I am losing myself. There is nothing left inside of me. I can't feel my heartbeats. Once I was a lonely guy who didn't have anything to lose, now I am like a puppet, I am here, but all things inside me are burned.

A new gate was added in my heart, I can see the whole world, but I can't go through it because there is a lock on that gate and I lost the key. I am looking for that key, I don't know how I can find that key or be lost forever. I am in pain now. A few days ago, I can't speak a word I was a man who could talk as long as I wanted, now nothing is coming out from inside, maybe I also lose the will to speak.

The flame of love hurting me inside, but there is a cure. Maybe there is no cure or vaccines for the heart. But the world should try to unfold this cure, this is very important to our life. When our souls don't want to live, nothing can separate them from death. One spark of energy that can make life cheerful with love and emotion. There is another spark of life which can make our life hell with no hope.

In our life, there is full desire, most of the desires come from imagination, leading us to the dream, and the dream leads us to destiny. The cloud is moving slowly in the sky, and my feelings are fading away from me. I can't stop it, neither my instinct, maybe my heart wants to fly in the sky.

I love the word instinct, something mystic that comes to us, perhaps with an untold story that we never deemed. The story can be sweet or sour or maybe bitter, but we have to accept reality. This time it is more than that broken my heart into pieces. I can feel the bleeding, no pain is compared to this. Oh, God, help me to rid of this pain.

I should have told her everything, but I hide something that I shouldn't. I thought this would be better for her; otherwise, she will be in pain. But I think this is not the way I think. Now all gone, there is nothing I can do now, all her words hurt me like a needle. I am here, but my soul is not with me, someone took it away. Now I am an empty vessel, just want to fall into a deep sleep.

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