The gift to the humanity

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(Edited)

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Author of the image @coolxxx

I am coming from the limits of the universe, we are a spice that we appreciate the life and his essence, we have chosen to the ground for his marvel, we were sent three beings of the planet Atun4, with three box as a gift to the humanity. In the moment of our arrival we observe that I it amaze that it is the human being, but we determine that to his life he was lacking the essence more essence, but without noticing my two accompanist his two opened box, one they were containing the fear and another valor, remaining interspersed by all the world, I wonder it was the correct thing.


The man began to experience the fear in his conduct, causing the fear, seeing as threat to the darkness as eternity, to the noise as an anguish of a creature that the asecha, such a difficulty with the time was fought by the valor, sowing in him the curiosity, making possible that his reason will look for the truth of the things and since they are, so that it serves me, breaking the border of continuing to ahead in search of new lake every day, being born in different groups of the humanity the communication and the exchange of ideas.


I realize the evolution of the humanity, but a balance was not established in the moment to two boxes be liberated, the men began to fight between yes and with it after our supreme being was filled with death, for fear and for the curiosity of whom it was braver, noticing such a destruction to the life, punishing not the man but my accompanists, to one of them for liberating the fear other was thrown to the world of the sleep of the humanity for liberating the valor he sent it to the world of the goals, so that the man was assuming challenge.


In my box I keep in better gift that is the happiness, but seeing the events I do not know where to conceal it, if I hide it in the seas already the man they dominate it and also in every corner of his grounds, it is possible that its own fear takes it to his entire destruction of his existence, I will assume my challenge of my will I go away to sacrifice, I will conceal the box inside me, exploding in million molecules in small box hiding inside every alive being, in such a way that the humanity faces his fear assuming a challenge of valor, this way it will be known that the happiness takes her inside the same one, liberating and sharing it in his life that has a sense. This way our travelling friend universe died to fulfill his target of his mission, only we can only value our life of this history.


Man is blinded by trying to be the best, but the bravest as another extraterrestrial species with the last box became pure very small cell, to be able to fulfill its goal of spreading happiness and give to prove to your planet that humans are the most essential beings of your planet earth, as part of its evolution. That is why from the infinite universe someone is watching us.

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3 comments
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I found it very hard to follow this story. Some elements of it came through. Do you think you might go back and try to make it clearer? I recognize a thread--a creature from another planet with a box filled with gifts of valor and fear. And then there is happiness, also hidden, but in order for happiness to be released the bearer of the box must die?

I'm guessing here. If you could go back and clear up some of that it would be very helpful.

Thank you!

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Hello greetings I added this fragment so as not to leave it in the air so thoughtful.


Man is blinded by trying to be the best, but the bravest as another extraterrestrial species with the last box became pure very small cell, to be able to fulfill its goal of spreading happiness and give to prove to your planet that humans are the most essential beings of your planet earth, as part of its evolution. That is why from the infinite universe someone is watching us.

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Hello @coolxxx,
I'm responding to this with a little perplexity. I'm torn between really enjoying your story and feeling obliged to tell you that much of the syntax is very confusing, and even incorrect.

The story itself, and the pictures, are charming. I read the story three times. The first time I sorted out (approximately) the narrative. The second time, the narrative became even clearer. You have a mythic tone to your writing, which I find very pleasing, However, it takes a lot of work to get through the rough syntax.

I do like the last paragraph you added. I'm being totally honest with you. Usually, I am more circumspect. I would love it if you could somehow improve the syntax (use of verbs, nouns, antecedents, pronouns, etc.). Your writing has spirit. It is worthwhile making the effort to make the writing more readable.

In the end, I'm glad I read your story. I liked its message and tone. However, I don't know if everyone will have the patience to read it three times in order to get the true sense of the narrative.

I do wish you well, and hope that you continue writing.

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