Weekend Engagement - Practicing Self Care

Is Self Care Selfish Or Not?

Before we dive into whether or not self care is being selfish, let us look at the definition of self care.

Understanding Self Care
Self care means taking the time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical health and mental health. Self care can help manage stress, lower risk of illness and increase energy/vitality.

So, Is Practicing Self Care Selfish?
From my perspective, it is not. During my days in the Army Command School, my Sergeant Major always tell us, "Gentlemen, before you can take care of your men, you jolly well be able to take good care of yourselves!" These words still comes back to me time to time as reminders to always take good care of ourselves before taking care of others. If our physical and mental state are not in the best form, taking care of others will pose dangers to both the person you want to take care and also yourself.

As mentioned above, if we lack of self care, these are the effects/consequences that could come:

• Low energy
• Feelings of hopelessness
• Less patience
• Increased headaches, stomachaches and other physical symptoms of stress
• Difficulty falling and staying asleep
• Binge eating or increase in unhealthy eating habits
• Worsening mental health symptoms
• Burnout
• Difficulties concentrating
• Relationship challenges or strains
• Reduction in performance at work
• Less motivation to engage in social activities

Looking at the above consequences, the lack of self care actually affects our wellbeing on both physical and social aspects of our lives. Why would you want a life experiencing the consequences of lack of self care?

Instead of saying self care is selfish, it should be said, self care is a pre-requisite. I see many people trying to take care of others more than themselves. And often I see the consequence of lack in self care in them. They feel generally more lethargic, impatient, having often migraines, excessive snacking on junk food, having extended sick leave or even keep feeling that others are not appreciating their hard work. More often than not, these are people whom will be telling you, they are tired and not keen to come out for gatherings. They are also the ones whom just looked like there is one storm cloud right above their head and generally the ones spreading negativity around them.

This is why, we cannot neglect self care. There is no condemnation or any form of being selfish when we do so. When we put focus to practicing self care, we gain back so much more. More energy to spend time with friends and loved ones, no burnout, strong focus, better work performance, good sleep every night and radiate positivity to those around us.

Make A Change: Start Practicing Self Care
While I am also guilty of times due to my work nature, I neglect self care. But I am also going to put more effort to what I am doing right now for self care.

Firstly will be to be more regular in doing exercise. Even if it is 30 minutes of walking, I will commit myself to do it. I use to take part in neighbourhood run activities as well, it's time to get my limbs moving once again.

One of the interesting runs in the neighbour which I joined previously where everyone gets a refreshing coconut for us to savour the coconut juice after the run

Next will be regular sleeping patterns. I am very guilty of this due to my odd sleeping hours. This is one area that I seriously need to work on.

Lastly will be to do activities and getting outside. I love photography and walking around/trekking, so why not combine them together to relax my mind and sweat it out at the same time, easing off mental stress with the beautiful things in life.

My trusty Nikon Camera

A scenic spot which I discovered in one of treks around my lovely country, Singapore

A seaside walk along the coast which I manage to capture a beautiful sunset with dramatic cloud patterns

This was captured by me during a trekking trip in Thailand. Looking at the waterfall was such a therapeutic sight

And definitely, will that that we do, we have more time to spend with our loved ones.

Picture of simple pleasures through some tea and cheese cake during one of my cafe hopping with my wife.

Summary
Self care being selfish or not, is up to every individual especially with different encounters and experiences. But for me, self care is a pre-requisite, it is even beyond being selfish. It is something that needs to be practiced as much as I can. Life has just too many amazing things waiting for us to discover, I do not want to be consistently plagued with illness or even struggling to sleep every night due to anxiety or stress. I also do not wanna be a grumpy man with lack of patience and spreading negativity. I want many more years with my family, friends and loved ones, so I am also switching gear to practicing self care more consciously.

Stop neglecting self care because you deserve a life filled with many amazing things and not one that is filled with hopelessness, sickness and physical/mental burnout.

Have a great weekend everyone!