How to deal with ungrateful people everyday
Source
She knows all of your dreams. She understands you. You can blurt about anything around her. You are comfortable around her
You don't see the need to be perfect around her. Giving her the tiniest details about your life itches you like crazy
But
Isn't it funny? You have a girlfriend you wish could be like her. Why?
Your girlfriend doesn't understand you. You can not blurt out anything in her presence to avoid being judge or criticize.
You feel embarrassed around her. You are always on your toes. Constantly checking to see if you look good here and there. You are being self-conscious
Phew! What are you even doing with a girl like that anyway?
I can tell the first lady is too nice. You prefer the heat and self-consciousness as compared to the comfort girl A, brings to the table.
Oh, I remember, Taylor Swift, said, "boys only want love if it's torture."
Crazy right? Ask the boys, I have no idea
Wait a minute! Is it just the boys? Let's ask the girls
Do you prefer the guy you run over and chase other girls to be with? Or the Mr. Nice guy who is going head over heels for you?
You know the answer.
This is real life for you. We prefer to suffer than to like the nice things. Once we have nice things or people who are nice to us, we take them for granted.
Who is to blame for this? No one. It's human nature. You cannot treat someone nice all the time and expect them to stay gratfeul forever. No!
You have to give them a bit of pain, while intermediately giving them pleasure. It is the ingratitude instinct that we all suffer from. Everyone is guilty though.
If you understand the psychology that people will always want what they cannot have, you will be playing the games of life at a master's level.
To get that girl, that woman, that man, you need to alternate between the caress and the bite. Alternate between pleasure and pain. Stop treating people nice all the time.
If they know they can't have you all the time, they will no longer take you for granted. They will be fighting to keep you. Learn to keep people on their toes
Hey, you Mr. nice guy. Being nice won't get you that girl. Yes her boyfriend is beating her every day but she will choose him over you and by now you should know why.
I am not asking you to go round beating girls up. I am just telling you that sometimes, a little pain here and there is what you need to keep people on their toes. This includes the people that you love.
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Haha I know some people love the mind games but personally I hate it. That's a deal-breaker for me lol.
Oh I apologize for this
I will have to watch my steps around you.....hehhehhehehhe
Lolol no worries... we rarely play mind games with acquaintances anyway. Usually only with loved ones or those we have power over like co-workers / staff.
Yeah that is true
There is this book I read, it's called "the art of manipulation", and the author said we can only manipulate our friends
So you are right when you said we only use this with loved ones and the rest of the persons you mentioned.
The art of manipulation sure sounds interesting. Thank you for the book recommendation. I will definitely check it out when I can get a copy.
Smiles......
You are welcome buddy
Thank you too for coming around and sharing your thoughts
Screw drama & brainflipp, we have enough of it that we don't chose. I prefer a relationship where we both are straightforward.
Everyone prefers that but at some point, most people skillfully use the drama and brainflipp on the other party.
Thank you for coming around
Well, I don't disagree a lot with this post, but I think that this way of life is not for me, if people don't recognize my actions, shame on them, and the ones that are losing are them. I will not do things that I don't like to do, or I don't like that other people do to me. I am a reciprocal person, if you treat me right, I will treat you right, if you treat me badly, I will go away. In my vision, life is to short to play certain games.
And I agree with you
If someone takes your kindness for granted, then, it is their lost
And yes, even the scripture says we should do to others what we want others to do for us
There are no two ways about it
Again, life is too short to live it playing games on people as you said
Thank you for your contribution, sir
Some people like a challenge. Some people like to be loved. Most people like both.
There are genuinely nice people, who want the best for you. But they have nothing to offer you. They don't make you laugh. They don't have anything interesting going on. They can't entertain you. What are you supposed to do with them?
On the other hand, there are people pretending to be nice.
It's mostly those nice guys, who are secretly keeping score. They're not doing something because they like you and want you to feel good. They do it, so that you owe them one.
That's the whole simp and friendzone problem. They secretly resent you, because they can't believe they can't cash in their friendpoints for sex!
I know a lot of people in the different categories you mentioned.
If you say they are genuinely nice, then somewhere in their personality there is a bottle holding the rest of the things you feel they cannot do.
They just haven't met someone who gives them the grounds to explore and bring out the best in them.
If they do, you will be surprised at the changes, and you will be wondering, "Where were you all these while".
I guess this is one of the things that love helps us achieve. When we are in love, there is a tendency that some beautiful qualities will emanate out of nowhere.
Dealing with these ones is easy. And it goes like this "Avoid the free lunch, it always has hidden obligations" so just avoid them in any way that you can't. If you can't then find a way to make them the ones indebted to you and not the other way round.
hahhahhahhahahaa.......I felt like laughing in Spanish. Allow these ones to stay in their bitter lane for as long as they want. If they get tired, they will find other victims. (I did not say that.....my twin did.........hehhehhee)
Relationship and it's dramas. I'd rather we both be real and expressive. Not one sided
This is what we get on a daily basis
We all want the same thing too.
Thank you for your thoughts
Maybe this is just because of my own life experience, but I assure you that the reason being nice is overrated has nothing to do with a desire for ups and downs, indeed, "drama," as most of your earlier replies say. Certainly, a neurotypical person desires relationships that improve oneself, rather than social stagnancy. Your friends (including your partner) should not be your bootlicks; only narcissists would disagree. Banter is a good thing!
The person who is too nice either has the personality of a doormat, or is a wolf in sheep's clothing; I have met plenty of both. Opposites do indeed attract, and it is for that reason that the genuinely nicest people usually have the most abusive partners - those who are naturally the most agreeable will accept whatever existence is thrust upon them without a struggle. Those who are the least agreeable, on the other hand, demand that everything be in accordance with their designs.
I know that this seems like a more verbose version of @antonym's comment, but I'd like to point out that this applies to all types of relationships that people can have, not just those with the potential for romance.
I agree with you
People who are too nice could either be wolves in sheep clothing or more of a doormat as you said
And it is scientifically proven that unlike charges attract, that is why we will see a nice person ending up with a narcissist who shakes the hell out of their lives
For a fact, relationships are supposed to improve a person's personality and not stagnate his progress
I appreciate you sharing these thoughts, they are really helping. Thank you very much
Most people like that. This is a fact. But I have to say: I really hate it.
In Brazil there was a singer who composed: '' I want the luck of a peaceful love with the taste of the bitten fruit. ''
And that's it. I really can't stand all the dramas and games to keep someone around.
I want smooth relationships.
But it is difficult, that is the truth.
You are right
We all want a relationship that is smooth but in reality, it is really difficult to get one
Thank you for your contribution...I appreciate this
I mean sharing my experience with relationships i am never lucky praying to be lucky one day. But and lady I love then to hurt my feelings and most times don't see my worth because I give you the full attention you can get from me but it always seems I am not doing enough.
So #Singlelife till I find real love. Everyone over here are too scared to dedicate there heart and mind on you especially when you are struggling financially.
No relationships are perfect just be the best version of yourself and try to manage one another bad sides🤷♂️