Hi!

This text is a pseudo-satire, and I hope it doesn't bother anyone but maybe it will rather amuse you with its truthfulness.

~an AI-generated pic of a "serious parent" just to get in the mood to write this

There's this hilarious thing that happens to people once they become parents. To some people I have seen in Europe this year, but also to new families, about my age, that are here in the USA. It's like their personality gets a vacation, and suddenly they all enroll in the same parenting and manners school for a photocopy degree.
Sure, not everyone falls for it.
There are those rare gems who raise their kids with genuine love and real human empathy, steering clear of the pre-packaged ideas served up by the know-it-alls around them.

:( Back in my day, the parenting playbook was pretty straightforward:

1. Never show any affection to your child; it'll turn them into a little monster.
2. Yell at them until their personality is but a distant memory, replaced by a lifetime subscription to anxiety.
3. Use them as a punching bag whenever life hands you lemons.

And it wasn't just my mom or dad. The apartment walls were thinner than a wafer...so... it seemed like every family had the same sitcom-worthy dynamics. In the classic family setup, the man vented his life grievances on the wife, the wife on the kids, and the kids on the family pet.

Fast forward to today, where we've got Child Protective Services ready to swoop in if you even look at a minor the wrong way – thank goodness! – and parenting books that have a chapter or two on the importance of showing affection, so we don't create a generation of emotionally scarred adults. But what gets on my nerves is how every celebrity parent feels the need to brag about raising their offspring in a Tech-free utopia without smartphones, tablets, laptops, and all the other modern contraptions.

tech is excellent just like playgrounds outside and fresh air. Look at the Hive kids singing, coloring books, or whatever they like to do. It's the blockchain that helps them share their passion.

Now, back to the celebrities: Sure, you've won the applause of your fellow not-so-bright beings, state whatever you wish about raising your child.
But what's the grand achievement here?
That your kid won't stumble upon inappropriate content?
Well, there's this thing called parental control – easy to install and does the trick. You can lock down anything you want.

I think (therefore I breathe :)) --->> The best childhood isn't one straight out of an idealistic past, where candles are still a thing to ward off the evil electricity devil. It's one that gradually equips you for adulting. And what defines adulting nowadays?
Hint: it involves staring at a computer screen for most of your waking hours. Right?! I've spent 9h today doing that....not just staring, but doing tasks.

So, congratulations, to all these new parents from this new wave!

Depriving your child of phones, tablets, and whatnot means you're keeping them in a technological time warp just so you can proudly proclaim yourself as a parent from a different universe.

What's still the hottest job market, always in demand?

You got it. IT. Everything these days unfolds on a computer, and there'll always be a need for a bespectacled guy or girl to ensure that the computer behaves.
So, why the swell of pride because you're raising your little one like it's the '70s?
All you're doing is setting them up for a future of awkwardness in the society they're living in.

If I were to have kids, I'd be enrolling them in coding classes for tots, nurturing their intellect. And if those classes didn't exist, well, I'd start my own. Now, that would be an internet-worthy accomplishment.

If you found this ironic sketch amusing, feel free to hit that reblog or thumbs up.

Thanks for reading, as always!
Respectfully yours, Zpek

Posted using STEMGeeks