STV - Boys Do Cry! - Why Do I cry (On a Sunday Morning)?

Now I normally skip most Three Tune Tuesdays, Posting three songs is just a bit too easy....unless you choose it not to be.

Personally I choose to make it difficult each week by incorporating a riddle in my three tunes and handing out a $1 boost on the next post to whoever solves the riddle. But this is not about me.

This is about spreading the vibes on a lazy Sunday morning and getting close and personal with you dear reader.

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It was my virtual friend @beeber that inspired me with a #TTT post. A difficult #TTT post, a post with a story, a post about crying boys.

Just go read, and read the posts that are mentioned if you´re into crying boys.

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Now as you all know boys don´t cry!
Who the freckle came up with that nonsense?

I thought we were supposed to be emancipated and as that has the word man in it I think we can cry like girls do. Still, science shows that girls cry twice as much as guys.

Gender differences in crying:

Testosterone may inhibit crying, while the hormone prolactin (seen in higher levels in women) may promote it.

This makes no sense as girls are supposed to have a higher resistance to pain, guess that applies on,y to physical pain. The question I have then is; do grown-ups seriously cry because of physical pain?

I mean I have hit my head hard enough to have tears jump into my eyes....but those are no cries.

Pain gets me annoyed, it makes me curse, and be angry with everyone and everything. But I can't remember the last time when physical pain made me cry.

Crying is for whiners and sentimental fools

And I am probably both because I do cry...but not for the obvious reasons.

I did not cry when my brother died two years ago.
I did not cry when I heard my son was not coming back to Spain, but would stay in the US of A.
I did not cry when my life turned a very dark corner and I was in a place I could not get out of without outside help.

I don´t cry, this boy does not cry when he´s sad or hurts, not even when I had a 5 mm Kidney stone that took weeks to finally leave my body through a very small hole.

Am I Normal?

I thought that it was so abnormal that I at some point thought I must be different, autistic without empathy as the biggest losses did not wetten my cheeks.

But I do not keep it dry all the time....
I can cry like a baby...
Why, why do I cry?
This was what triggered this post, and this was the song I kepr hearing.

Why do I cry?
On a Sunday morning

Why do I cry (when someone dies in a movie and not in real life?)

I have no clue why I cry for the stupidest sentimental reasons.
I cry when in a series when after lots of pain there is some relief.

Or when a song really hits home.

It´s always the same, I don´t want to cry but then it starts with goosebumps, and chills. Then I strike my head and face with my hand, and swallow twice before my eyes get wet and tears will flow.

Those cringy Hallmark moments filled with sentimental triggers get me. And that is just it, those moments are made for crying. Like processed food, these are processed cries. Triggered by the music, the sympathy for all those on the screen visually in pain.

While in real life, it´s different. If you are notified in real life it often happens while many things are going on and the notification just does not hit the spot.

Unless you are told by someone to sit you down. This person then puts on very sad music, looks you in the eye and makes sure that nothing will distract you from the message. In that scenario, most of us would probably cry.

This could very well explain why I have such a hard time crying in real life. When you get the message you start processing it, but you are so busy processing and continuing with your life that there is less room to actually take the time and feel it.

This might explain why I did not cry till years after my grandma died. I did cry years after her death when I was all alone and experienced how much I meant for her and she for me and that those moments will never return. I cried for a minute or two, then did the Frozen thingy and let it go.

So am I really normal?

Nope, I am weird because crying because of a movie is said to be a girl thing:

A sad TV show, movie, or book is most likely to leave women watery-eyed, while men tear up at sad moments or memories.

But my main doubt regarding not crying being normal is that I wonder if I have, and can express sympathy or empathy.

A person can share, mirror, be emotionally affected by, or have concern for the feelings of another (sympathy) without being able to identify or understand those feelings and the met/unmet needs behind them (empathy).

As I understand it, empathy involves being present in the moment, rather than living or reliving feelings.
Now being in the moment is what I am working on, it´s what I find difficult. My mind is always running, always working on what is next, what not to forget, and hardly ever in the here & now.

I have experienced moments of empathy days, weeks, months after the actual fact. Only then I was able to feel another person's perception, and not mirror my own. And those feelings that I think I dare call empathy only came to me much later in life.

It feels like first there was nothing...
Then I think there was some sympathy....
And only recently I discovered I also hold some empathy.

Well, they say that with age comes wisdom, and empathy is for the wise if you ask me. It´s the ability to detach from your own personal often very hectic life and open up to experience the life of another being, from that being's perspective.

It is a kind of selflessness that is rare in today´s society, we are all too busy with I ; "I know how you must be feeling, I have been there when I...."

BULL SHIT, you have no clue how it was for me, you might be able to mirror your feelings up on my scenario but you are not me.

Only when you detach and let go of YOU, you might see a glimpse of how I experienced the scenario.

It might be my pessimistic being, but I think empathy is a rare thing...maybe it has always been rare, or maybe our egocentric lifestyle has made it rare.

I just wonder how many of us have cried, because they opened up and actually felt the pain of another living being. Not their own pain, not a simulation, but experience a pain, a loss that wasn´t yours.

This has been a very sad #STV so far so let´s try ending this on a Happy Vibe,

Happy Tears???

Women might be chemically challenged and therefore the biggest cry babies but they are also more likely to cry happy tears, with 40 percent admitting to shedding a tear for a good reason, something just 24 percent of men do.

Now personally I don´t think I ever had happy tears for a real-life reason, only sentimental semi-happy endings bring tears of joy to my eyes.

Or so I thought...
Till I checked and saw that there are basically 4 types of happy tears.

Affectionate tears:
People that cry at weddings, now this one is absolutely lost on me. A wedding or a birth, it just does not do it for me. I see a ball & chain and dirty diapers after very short nights.

Achievement tears:
Hmmm I wonder, if I am called on a stage because I did something impressive (which will never happen anyway) would I cry? I don´t think so. I might strike my hand through my hair and swallow that lump in my throat, but unless I save humankind, which is highly unlikely, I would not cry. And if by accident I saved the human race I would cry, humankind, because I did rid this world of that crazy species.

Beauty tears:
A musical piece, or work of art that is of such beauty it makes one cry happy tears? I do hope to experience this one day, and I think it's going to be nature that will provide such an immense beauty that tears crash around me.

Luckily there is one type of Happy Tears I do experience, and quite often....

Amusement tears:
Those tears that come when you just can´t stop laughing, when it hurts so much, when you hardly can catch your breath and know that the next day your abdomens will hurt because you laughed so hard.

Those happy tears I can not get enough off. And in the end, as I said before life is all about happiness.

To avoid getting the MP (Music Police) knocking on my virtual door AGAIN, I invite you all the use you spill sweat and tears coming up with a post that makes me cry.

What is Spread The Vibes

If you want to know more about the Spread The Vibe Challenge not A challenge please clikerdeeclick me

Thank goodness you made it till the end peace, love and I am out of here!

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