Letter To My Son - Part 9 - The End?

This personal story I am drafting will be my gift to my son on his 18th birthday in six months' time, this and a video game because what 18-year-old is looking forward to a very long letter from his dad?

Over the last 18 years, I struggled to be a dad, just like my dad struggled before me. I was very lucky to share lots of time with you in the past, but the divorce changed that.

Now that you are an adult I wanted to tell you my story. A story that I wish my dad had told me. Maybe it's too early right now, but you might enjoy it when you get to be old and sentimental like me.

Click Back to Start with Part 1

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Letter To My Son Part 9

And that was exactly what happened, you did not come back to Spain when your Visa expired. Why did she not tell me this might happen?

I mean yes I could have legally stopped her from taking you out of Spain and I can even file for international child abduction. But why would I, in all these years I have done everything that I thought would be in your best interest. I would even agree with things I do not think are in your best interest but are things you want to do.

So why so secretive, this must have been a scenario before you guys left. I feel a bit cheated by this. Now why was that needed, I don´t get it.

I mean come on, you are almost 18 so why would I mess up your plans for these last couple of months? Secondly, if I don´t make a fuss about you being without your mom for over 3 months when you were 16 why would I make a problem of this?

I might not agree with it, just as I was not happy with her leaving you alone when she went to the US for 3 months, but she has custody. She sees you every day, she knows best what you can and can not handle.

But okay, some things I might never understand, and in the bigger scheme of things they do not matter. I would have told you to do what you think is best, but that if you would ask me to finish your last year of school first.

Now here we are, or better there you are and I am still here. Here and very curious as to how this is going to play out. Very curious about what your real plans are right now.

You are not big on phone calls and the last time we spoke you might go to a school in Tennessee if you got your green card and if the school would have you.

I also know that you would not mind working for a while, preferably in a kitchen. That love for cooking has been there like always, I remember how you made your carrot fritter cakes with your signature sauce back when you were 5 years old.

There is always work in kitchens all over the world, I would not be surprised if you used your cooking skills to pay for a trip around the world.

Whatever you choose to do as a next step, you now have the time to think about it while waiting on your green card. Because as I understood it, you are advised not to leave the USA till that is sorted.

And it probably will get sorted because they might have built a wall on the Mexican border, they do very little to stop European immigrants as far as I know.

Although the thought of you living there gives me mixed feelings, I would love you to enjoy the land of opportunities but as a dad and the one paying the bills, I know that health care and education are crazy expensive over there.

As another wise man said multiple times in an old movie:
Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you´re gonna get.

And he was right, I did not expect to end up in the south of Spain and you probably did not foresee now being stuck in Trump country.

I can´t help but wonder if your moving over there is sort of Karma for me moving away from my parents?

But they respected my choice, and I respect your choice and I think that is what it comes down to being a parent.

Be a soundboard, voice your point of view, but respect your kids' final decision. Because you will need to learn your lessons your way, just like I had to learn mine.

And so far you did an amazing job, after 18 years I can only say I am very proud of who you are today and that I love you a lot.

And so does Patito he says:

So let me just share a couple more pics and fun moments

First Christmas

You Still Bring Mom Flowers?

Cool in a weird way or weird in a cool way?

Last Picture I took before you left for the US. You took rode all night on a bus to visit your dad. And when you arrived this happened.

And let me end with this one:

That was you when we first arrived in Spain, sitting on the top of our car before getting a clean diaper.

Your mom wanted to turn this into a T-Shirt I think...but this is how you always be to me and I hope that I will always be Pappy Chullo to you.

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