Letter To My Son - High School Days- Part 7

This personal story I am drafting will be my gift to my son on his 18th birthday in six months' time, this and a video game because what 18-year-old is looking forward to a very long letter from his dad?

Over the last 18 years, I struggled to be a dad, just like my dad struggled before me. I was very lucky to share lots of time with you in the past, but the divorce changed that.

Now that you are an adult I wanted to tell you my story. A story that I wish my dad had told me. Maybe it's too early right now, but you might enjoy it when you get to be old and sentimental like me.

Click Back to Start with Part 1

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Letter To My Son Part 7

Guess I was also lucky that you had to leave your friends behind in Caparacena. That meant that you loved coming over on your birthday and celebrating with your magical mates.

They always came without their parents, I always was the only dad there.... Was that because you liked to have me there, or was it because you didn´t want to tell me that I was obsolete?

Whatever it was I always was happy to join you, sit there and see you enjoy time with your friends. And after a while, I would go for a beer and a tapa to make sure I was not too much.

It were those afternoons, the talks we had on our way to the War Lotus when I felt that nothing really had changed. That we were just as close as when we still were living in the same house.

And then a little miracle happened.

A X-Mas miracle. In all those years that you lived with your we never celebrated Christmas. Not that I am its biggest fan, but to have you here to share some gifts and celebrate New Year once would be fun.

And you & me cooking again was one of those moments I will not forget.

You ended up spending three weeks over here as your mom was in the USA to meet her new boyfriend for the first time.

That meant you spent some time with me, some time with your grandma, and some time you had to do it all by yourself at 16. You did well, I don´t think I would have done as well as you did.

Of course, you skipped more classes than you should have and it probably caused you to fail that year in school. But you proved how grown up you were that you could handle yourself in a non-supervised situation.

It is a huge lesson and an achievement that probably gives you a sense that you can take care of yourself whatever happens. That is a precious lesson if you ask me, and you learned that pretty early on.

Slowly we are coming to the end of this never-ending story your dad is sharing with you;

We are all different in this world and at the same time we are all the same. What makes us different is the fact that we all value different things, have different goals, different ways of seeing things, and different things we want to accomplish.

We are all different

I probably did not do what my parents would have liked me to do. And you, you probably will not do what my parents would have liked you to do.

I myself have not made any plans for you. Yes, I hoped you are going to study at Granada University, not for the study but to have a chance to go out with you every now and then.

I did not make any plans for you, that saves a lot of shattered illusions and allows me to support you in whatever you want to achieve.

It's normal that I want what is best for you, and there are certain things I will not support, but overall I want you to follow your heart. Find your place in the world, and do what makes you happy, whatever and wherever that may be.

Because that is what we all have in common, we need to find our way in the world. Without having to follow in someone else's footsteps.

I will try and be there in any way you need me, as a friend, as a father, as a soundboard. as a (not so) wise old man. And I feel very much at ease with that. I have seen you grow up a well-balanced boy, that overthinks things before actioning them.

That is one lesson I learned much later btw. It took me years to understand and see the consequences of my actions.

That next summer your mom left for the USA again, and you stayed with your Opa Lou for many weeks and then you came to stay with me for some time.

Little did I know that things were going to change.

Another wise lesson, never expect things to remain as is. Life has one common factor and that is that is ever-changing.

Enjoy the now, plan for the future, and remember that whatever you plan life will mess it up.

We had a sweaty good time that summer till you asked me the big question and messed up all my plans😇

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Thank you for reading.

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