Letter To My Son - High School Days- Part 6

This personal story I am drafting will be my gift to my son on his 18th birthday in six months' time, this and a video game because what 18-year-old is looking forward to a very long letter from his dad?

Over the last 18 years, I struggled to be a dad, just like my dad struggled before me. I was very lucky to share lots of time with you in the past, but the divorce changed that.

Now that you are an adult I wanted to tell you my story. A story that I wish my dad had told me. Maybe it's too early right now, but you might enjoy it when you get to be old and sentimental like me.

Click Back to Start with Part 1

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Letter To My Son Part 6

That day when all of a sudden I was asked if you could stay a week... Yes of course great until I heard why.

She and Romet were going to look for a house near the coast, and near a school that would be a bit more of a challenge for you. Because you were almost done with this school and well let´s be honest you found it boring.

Which I can imagine because I had the same problem, and with me it caused me to go and do stuff that was ....not so smart to put it mildly. So part of me really hoped by you going to a school that would challenge you, you would not go down the path your old man did.

They found something, and after that summer you moved to Murcia. It was a 3.5 hours bus drive away and as I had no driver's license public transport was the only way.

We agreed that it did not make sense to spend over 8 hours in a weekend to spend one day together, so now we were depending on holidays. I must say I was worried at first, but I noticed that even though we sometimes did not see each other for months, as soon as we got together it was like you had never left.

I really feel that we have a very special connection, one I never had with my dad. One of openness and honesty.... a band like brothers. Maybe you needed me to be more of a dad and less of a friend, maybe I never had the right example. But this is what it is, and it´s probably like this for a good reason.

I am trying to be open and honest with you in this letter. Open up about my struggles. The good thing is that the pain was never caused by you. I am a very lucky dad to have such a kindhearted son.

When you moved in with your mom and Romet I was worried, I had no clue what the picture was they painted about me. I had no control and no way of knowing how they spoke about me.

That´s why I think it´s best to tell you my side of the story using this letter. Because it was something that I found really scary.

As you know my mom & dad are also divorced and I, as the oldest son, was stuck in the middle of some rotten remarks growing up. Nothing to cry about, but I did not want you to be in that same situation.

That is why I never mentioned your mom, or brought up the troubles she and I had in the past. My focus was on you, and our time together and I could only hope that Karma would return that favor.

I think Karma did, or at least you did. I never felt any resentment or negativity from you to me. We were able to arrange most things without even involving your mom and I think you preferred it like that.

It did mean that you were responsible for organizing, or at least contacting me, for our weekends and weeks together. Something you did very well.

As a dad I had no complaints at all, and in return I always tried to go the extra mile for you and even for your mom.

When your mom left I let her keep the car, this was not something we agreed on in court. It was something I thought was fair as you were living in that little village of Caparacena on top of a mountain and I wanted you to be able to keep going to school.

It´s not all about the money

The money I had lent from my father for that car, and I kept paying for a car I would never use again.

Now that is a bit the common thread since the divorce. When your mom and I received a huge ass fine from the tax office, a couple of years after the divorce I paid it. Because I did not want you to be impacted.

Same with the alimony I told my lawyer that I did not mind paying a bit more than I had to and so I did. And I also paid for your private health insurance.

All money things that I legally did not have to do, but I paid for them anyway.
It´s not important, it´s only money, but I do want you to know that even if I was not there I tried to do the best for you and make your life as comfortable as possible.

That is what life is about if you ask me, a certain level of happiness. It does not matter what makes you happy as long as it does not involve hurting other people that did not ask to get hurt.

And if a school in Murcia would make you happy, then I am happy for you. That is why I did not stop you from leaving Andalusia, it´s not up to me.

And that has always been my main driver since the divorce. You could come over whenever you liked, we did not need a judge for that.

I think it worked out better than with me and my dad because I did not want to go to my dads' house when I was 15 years old. It was boring and my dad had no clue how to make it fun.

Hopefully, you enjoyed those times with your dad in Granada as much as I did. Well except for the karting experience, I know I enjoyed that more than you did,

But we both enjoyed the water rides in the aqua park,

And shooting up little kids laser gaming;

Well, we enjoyed that fair a lot, although there are some rides you just get too old for (not you but me).

But we did find one thing we both really enjoyed doing, playing with our balls.

We really made some great memories, although it was a very different way of watching you grow up. It does not feel like it mattered for our relationship.

I tried to be your dad and your mate, keep you safe and give you the best opportunities. If that meant moving to Murcia and not seeing you that often, then be it.

Because I know the other side of the coin, my own high school years. Years where I was bored and did a lot of stupid stuff. Stuff that made me who I am today, but also stuff that might have cost me many years to undo.

So the fact that you did not grow up in between the Granada delinquents might have given you a better start for university than I gave myself.

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Thank you for reading.

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