Beyond Doubt: Whispers of the Unseen - Chapter 8
Welcome to my seemingly endless journey.
A trip that will take you to places I might have visited many moons ago.
It´s a tale that came back to me when I meditated on one of my past lives. A life I told you about in my unbelievable true story.
As promised in that story I will now share this story with you.
Chapter 8
Not remembering their names left a sour taste. I know that wisdom is often gained during periods of solitude and study. But it is also the duty of the teacher to inform those who do not know and to remain informed.
I hadn't counted any of these among my duties in recent months. I felt like an unworthy replacement for Master Oniko. My ego really got in my way too much to take the place of the master. Even during those last years that often chained him to his cabin, he knew better what was going on in the village than the gossiping ladies at the wash place.
When he was visited his listening skills were so good that he could pick up on layers the narrator did not know were in the message.
This way he remained aware of everything happening in the village. It enabled him to give advice that was not only for the benefit of those seeking help but which had a positive effect on many in the village in the longer term.
I arrived at my boulder and nestled among the tall reeds pondering on how I could ever be like that. The stone felt icy cold, but the sun already poured its first rays into the valley, so the temperature would soon rise.
The soothing sound of running water soon brought a pleasant vibration, helping me distance myself from the things that had occupied me for the past few moons. Lately, I had lost my balance and stared blindly at things that offered no relief.
I remembered a lesson from long ago: For those who are lost, there is only one right way. The road that leads to the top.
As soon as you rise above the tops of the trees, you will find the answer you were looking for.
I had been lost looking at the map for hours and not getting anywhere because I constantly placed myself at the center of the map.
After that little epiphany, my conscious thoughts started to fade.
Prisms dancing on a glass floor gave a caleidoscope view of a million rainbow splinters. When the images shaped a bit more I found myself in a crystal portal, filled with brilliant colors. In the middle, there was a being sitting in a lotus position.
Still partially blinded by the light from the prisms, it took me some time to reduce the shapes to what looked like a young girl. Her hands caressed the golden strings of a harp, the tones filling the room with a supernatural warmth. I walked up to her and tried to catch a glimpse of her face. But without moving she turns with every step I take. Whatever move I make only her long hair and slightly arched back remain visible.
A sense of recognition shoots through me but doesn´t allow me to recognize. The glare and reflection in this mysterious space make it impossible for me to focus on my past. I can only experience the now, disconnected from any memories.
Her head straightened as her voice struck the first note, so brilliant, so pure, so wonderfully beautiful. The vibrations flows through my entire body and then collide with the crystal walls. Hair-fine cracks occur in the crystal and spread throughout space. This sound was so full of warmth, love, and beauty that it hurt me in the depths of my core.
I recognize the voice.
Not the way it sounds now, but the memories bubbled up, memories that came from the darkest vaults of my heart. I finally am able to connect the dots and know who this sound belongs to, while the cracks in the crystal walls grow frighteningly large. Then like a volcanic eruption, my head gets flooded with memories of my sister.
Gasping for breath, I find myself back on the rock, surrounded by misty rippling water, with a heartbeat pounding in my temples and her voice still ringing in my ears. The memories, which were so clear a second ago evaporate at such a pace that before I open my eyes all have disappeared. Only the memory of remembering remains.
Completely confused, I try to regulate my breathing and force myself to calm down. The experience was so intense that I am still shaking. I take my time and finally regain my peace.
Slowly I become aware of what has just happened to me. I descended into the beautiful but most hidden chamber of my soul. That is where I keep my sister, that room with no door, no lock. Which had to remain unopened, because she's still alive there, because I'm holding her there. That room I would never have entered of my own free will because the memories of the love I felt for her were too painful.
Then tears pour from my eyes and stream down my cheeks. Again the memories surface, but this time in my conscious state. I have to let them in, resistance is futile. Like waves crashing on the shore, the memories invade my heart again. The sadness that comes with it rips open my soul. I feel torn. Never before have I shed a tear for her death, but now they are unstoppable.
I don't know how long I sat there, but I am cold and stiff when my tears dry up. Once more I take a deep breath, the sadness has cried out. It has given way to a somewhat sad, but certain smile. I remember her as a little girl dancing in the river. I watch her from the water's edge, see the innocence I now realize she never lost, preserved by prematurely exchanging this world for another.
It was only then that I began to realize that it is necessary for some souls, who dazzled dazzlingly, to pass over before they become infected with such things as hurt, jealousy, discontent, or betrayal. Those things that make a soul insecure, cast doubt on the childish idea that love is the greatest good. Something you want to share with as many people as possible.
It all dawns on me, the closed space was inside me. The memory freed me from a burden I had carried for so long. I feel lighter, more aware of everything, and at the same time, I can see myself from a greater distance.
I had already found the answer to my quest before I fell into a trance. I found that by placing myself outside my very small world. But subconsciously I had now found the key I had not been looking for. One that was so much more valuable and that gave me insight into why my world had become so small.
It was a confirmation that I myself created my world and that I had made it so small because the room in my soul had no room for more unprocessed grief. The room still existed, but it was cracked. There were openings that I could use to let the sadness flow away with all the tears I will shed and make room for something new.
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