Beyond Doubt: Whispers of the Unseen - Chapter 115
Welcome to my seemingly endless journey.
A trip that will take you to places I might have visited many moons ago.
It´s a tale that came back to me when I meditated on one of my past lives. A life I told you about in my unbelievable true story.
As promised in that story I will now share this story with you.
Chapter 115
Krya speaks about the constant obligations she must fulfill, with no privacy as servants attend to everything. Despite being content with her position and not having to struggle for livelihood like many others, she hopes to make a meaningful impact.
In her youthful idealism, she envisions poverty, destruction, and hunger disappearing when she rules alongside her husband.
She tells how she didn't give up hope for more influence in those early years, believing that as she and the Sikh became more unified, her influence would grow.
However, little comes of that unification, except for Sion, for which she is grateful. After Sion's birth, the Sikh turns away from her as the demands of the kingdom consume his attention.
She also believes he resents her for giving birth to a daughter and that being one of the reasons he no longer seeks her proximity or advice.
"Where he used to discuss certain sensitive matters with me, I was now kept out of everything and everywhere."
"It became clear that my job was to raise our daughter. When I indicated that I was not satisfied with that and threatened to leave him if nothing changed, he met a number of my requests with great difficulty. For example, I have the right to leave the palace without his permission, I may speak during official visits, and I too must be shown to the people as part of divinity."
"These things don't even matter to me that much anymore. My life is already lost, and demanding time with him doesn´t help to win him back. He always manages to get out of it with 'good reasons'."
"I gave up hope of ever truly becoming one with him. Yet I chose to remain faithful to him until death, but I took my life back. I learned about state affairs and built a web of informants who enlightened me about the state of the empire."
"From behind the scenes I slowly got a view of what was going on. Even more slowly, I managed to exert some influence on it. I have the necessary influence, not so much in military circles, but especially in intellectual groups. Trade is also one of my areas of interest."
"I try to influence the things that the Sikh does not fully focus on. You may think it's pathetic, that I have to try to change the world through back doors, but I don't see a chance to do it directly. He no longer listens when I speak."
"This is my only way to gain anything from my position beside him. I cannot let go of my childish wish, together with Sion it is the only thing I can hold on to."
She never spoken this freely and it must be the tension that I am releasing in her fingers that allows certain blockades to break and the truth to flow from her mouth.
"But enough about my pathetic life, tell me more about yours. Your faith in ancestors, your trust in a council of elders, the belief you as a community share that no one puts anyone else behind.”
I smiled as I heard the underlying tone. It was so difficult for her to imagine a world without property.
"My Lady, " oh how I loved saying that, "I come from a very different and simple life, where we live hand in hand with the seasons. We need to share to survive as a group, there is no abundance and that is probably the reason there is little to no envy."
"Everyone owned more or less the same things. Things that we built or others build for us in exchange for our skills. We do not have the means to purchase anything outside the village. When we trade with other villages it's to replace things we have in abundance with things we do not have."
I see her eyes sparkle, a combination of insight and disbelief making her eyes twinkle.
"If these other villages would produce material things that were useful to one rather than all, those things would not be exchanged. Logically, something belonging to all of us was exchanged for something for all of us. Even those who take care of the animals see it as their task, but do not consider themselves the owner."
"Why would they, why would we as a community want to create envy? Why would we want to pretend to be better than someone else and thereby unleash a race that benefits no one?"
" Our sense of quality of life is not increased by the possession of matter. It is increased when we as a village make it through another winter without too many struggles. And of course, when the coldest period is nearing its end, and food supplies run low hunters might not share all they catch. Farmers might still have some wheat, and those who provide services secretly have stashes they fill throughout the year. Nobody wants to go hungry, and there is always some selfishness, but when times get really hard even the secret stash is shared."
She radiates when imagining this level of simplicity, which is easy to do behind the thick safe walls of her well-protected world.
The glimmer I see in her eyes is that of the child idealist in her. As much as I like her, how far would she go to make it a reality?
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