RE: Postcards from Thailand #36: Highway to Hell
You are viewing a single comment's thread:
Wow. That's some trip!
How often are you still doing that? :/
0
0
0.000
You are viewing a single comment's thread:
Wow. That's some trip!
How often are you still doing that? :/
Nearly every week! Either by VIP bus or car but the bus is better as I ca. Get some work done and sleep. Only a couple more months left though.
Hope you had a great weekend :-)
That's rough!
Copy copy :)
We did. Thanks. Lots of forced downtime because some power cable or other went offline. It becomes kinda peaceful and makes a person wonder whether to just turn the internet off permanently. Remember the days... ?
Take care of yourself out there <3
I barely remember the days! I've been 'online' in one way or another since the early 80s, long before the internet was what we know it as today! All i really remember is being a kid in the 70s. It was like a totally different world! Books, legos, trains and lots of 'playing out' ! It's nice to have some 'radio' silence sometimes but I certainly wouldn't want to swap today for yesteryear.....unless I could also lose 30 years off my age lol
You take care too, superstar :-)
OH... I kinda miss those days. The simplicity. But perhaps I'm getting old ;)
Would totally take the 30 years off the age. But not the wisdom and experience!
You too, Mr N. Enjoy the momentum :D 💐 🦊 💜
I think we all reminisce a lot more as we age. Its strange that those older memories seem to get clearer, or perhaps we reconstruct the older memories and bring them to the fore but happyisised!
It's like that in some ways, I guess. There's a mechanism in the brain to make it so for survival purposes.
Thing is... if we do that it comes out in all sorts of unexpected ways.
Best to just (try) to remember things in full and accept them as happenings, perhaps. Try not to judge them too much. And avoid trying to be happy, happy all the time. Keeps us more present in the present and actually able to fully appreciate the "good" parts. If that makes sense :)
The ongoing search for happiness actually only creates more unhappiness... what you focus on increases and all that. So if we are constantly focused on making more we are actually keeping ourselves (mentally) in a state of non-abundance. See? And if what we focuses on increases then we create more lack.
Same with happiness.
Also... the contrast of the "all" only makes the good parts better. Relativity.
I think I miss it because I spend far too much online. Not enough balance for me personally as I love being immersed outside. My happy place!
But I have the power to change that any time I so choose to :) It's happening my side... finding a nice pace here now.
Sorry you're having to do so much of what sounds like quite a tough journey. The good news is... everything passes and everything changes.
Must make the child food and am busy designing stuff at the moment. It's quite blissful here right now. I just mustn't get too comfortable with things as they are.
Just popped back to say thanks for being you, btw. Your comments always make me smile. Genuinely.
Just a bit flat over here right now. Need some processing and assimilation. The weight of the scale of the problems, you know. Maybe I need some fairy dust and rainbows for a bit after these last months. It was some journey. Sending love
There's a 6 year old girl visits us. She's a little bit ADHD and has trouble learning and when we play games, especially fast paced games, because staying focused is difficult for her, she often loses. Then we will often get accusations of cheating, tears and tantrums. Five minutes earlier she tells us she loves us, next minute she's screaming that she hates us.
Thing is. This 6 year old knows and understands her emotions like I've never seen before. This doesn't help her very much to control them but she knows she needs a little help. Before we sit down to play a game, she'll apologise in advance for the behaviour she knows will surface. She even makes jokes about it; "Nathen. Get the tissues ready!' She's 6!
Her self awareness and emotional understanding and her openess to talk about her issues and problems is incredible and in this respect, she reminds me of you.
She's also going to get through this and not just survive, but flourish. In this respect, she reminds me of you.
This little girl is a blessing to have a connection to. In this respect she reminds me of you.
Goodnight x
Christ almighty.
Okay. Let's just keep it simple then.
Hope you had a good sleep. X
Hey,
Didn't want to comment further for obvious reasons. See it still here so maybe you've not seen it yet?
I assume this child visits your home with her parents who visit you as friends. ***
But I'm careful not to make assumptions. I couldn't comment further anyway without talking to her to ask more about her experience and what provokes her.
Still can't abide the DSM. You know this though. I'd take France's approach and do the psychodynamic approach. They go into the home and figure out what is negatively impacting the child. Usually family dysfuntion and adults who arent healthy enough to relate and parent well. Often traumatized themselves.
If you use, for example, shitty methods like passive aggression with a kid you will confuse them and make them feel very unsafe. Small things that people do all of the time because they haven't learned better ways of communicating honestly and clearly.
That's listed as one of the behaviours of covert abuse, by the way.
Yet we often don't bother asking or hearing children's perspectives and experiences because we think we know. I'd add "better" but my Nathan and I would say not. He tells me, often, how frustrating it is for him. The way some adults treat him because he's a kid. As though he's stupid.
Kinda like being a woman, I tell him. Except men tend to assume we're nuts and it's all us on top of it! 😆
ADHD is just another made up load of bullshit. Come now. Listed in the DSM 1 or 2 as related to cold parenting. Interesting, huh? Then Big Pharma and follow the money. Facts are facts.
Don't follow the crowd, would be my suggestion. Or at least follow the crowd in Fance if you must agree with popular opion. 😬
I find this horrific. Sorry. It just is. That a child that age has been taught there is something "wrong" with her so very thoroughly that she apologises for herself in advance. Shocking :(
Let's not please. Strongly disagree with all of that.
That's all. Take care, N.
Scuse sweary words. But the arrogance of the fucking medical profession and the damage they are getting away with because of it makes me want to vomit.
She's fucking six years old ffs.
That's me done for a bit. I'm taking an extended break from the insanity. I bave had enough.
Take care until we meet again. 🪷
Swear words are good, they express emotion strongly when needed. I swear a lot. No apologies needed.
The little girl visits with her mum because my wife is a licensed pediatric OT and we have a licensed practise.
Where to start...
Why refer back to DSM 1 and 2? DSM published v5 since 2018, its a standardised reference and not a bible that must be followed verbatim. Its not the only work of reference out there! As in all areas of science and understanding, practises and techniques improve with experience and knowledge. It's not 1952, its 2023. Things have moved on.
As for 'abuse'. Denying the existence of ADHD, and thus not treating it as a medical condition is abusive in the same way that refusing to allow your child treatment for any medical condition is abuse. Are you saying that all children's mental health issues are imaginary or created by specific trauma? What about more traditional physical health issues? Are they only created by environmental reasons too?
Disagreements in life need to be had. They create debate and knowledge. So yes, let's disagree :-)
Mental health issues do not only manifest themselves because of specific, traumatic events. They can be due simply to predisposition, 'faulty dna' as can any other medical condition.
The sad thing is that mental health has taken a back seat in the history of medical research but that is now improving and knowledge, understanding and techniques for helping are slowly improving.
The problem with human nature is that people often base their knowledge solely on their own personal circumstances and experiences which is understandable but still short sighted.
This particular little girl is now happier at school (her words) because she is learning and making friends and loves coming each week to talk openly and play games and be a kid without being judged or scolded. She's strong and amazing, that's why I thought about you. You commented out of the blue which felt like you were reaching out and not in a great place, hence I tried to show you how strong and amazing I thought you were. Instead, I pissed you off by mistake. I am sorry I didn't make you feel better.
Early intervention works because kids learn new things so quickly and can go a long way in preventing worsening issues in the future.
You have the best day you feel able to have and don't stay away too long. People will worry about you :-)
With all due respect and I do respect you we have had this convo for a year now :) I can't do it again. But here again if you are really curious. My perspective and 8 years of research and two years of writing a free book.
You'll be looking at Chapter 2 and 3 to answer your question fully :) I've done my activism in this arena and have seen massive shifts in treatment approaches. They will filter down to treatment facilities slowly. It's happening now so I feel as though my time in this area is done and have moved on to other areas of interest now :)
ADHD is not a "medical condition" - please see above?
Absolutely but I would add that, more so, they accept the word of "authorities" as correct and don't bother doing due diligence for themselves - this includes educational facilities which is the biggest problem in this arena right now. It will change with time.
I'm still not comfortable discussing a patient online. But would say any child who is getting decent one on one quality time would be a happier kid and ask whether a proper full background history of both parents, and grandparents, was included in the background history by the facility and professional prior to a "diagnosis"?
I would include that I see many adults now claiming they have some kind of disorder. And who use this to avoid personal accountability. Big concern as no recovery then.
I meet others who are relieved to be told they have a disorder so that they know what is "wrong" with them - lifetimes of pharmaceutical meds do ease the pain of daily living - no recovery possible for them either.
And I have met some people who have lost their lives due to family pressure and who have been sectioned and medicated while the family goes on to continue avoiding accountability for the clear dysfunction and unintentional abuse - because that's how multi generational trauma plays out - covered in CH:3 of the book again.
Yes. She sounds more "sane" and in reality than the adults around her who seem to be foisting all blame on her for the challenges and avoiding all accountability for what their part and / or impact on the situation may be. Truly amazing for a six year old and also very sad to me. Still. But yes. I have had some great skills and tools imparted to me so thank you for acknowledging my self awareness. It's not easy to do but it does make for a peaceful life! :D
I'd quote James Hillman here (and many other great psychiatrists and psychologists who are very anti the disease model) - covered in the final chapter of the book <3
Early intervention - currently pharmaceutical prescription - please see James Hillman again. This is abuse. In my opinion - following reading the more rational theories and approaches of great minds in philosophy and psychology who have a different perspective. But this is all Hypothesis. Really.
What I would say is that, despite all this progress you speak of in the treatment industry - mental health conditions are massively on the rise. And I would add that anybody who then thinks current treatment is working is not "sane" or seeing reality fully. Logically?
But I do get some of the sentiment of your comment and always appreciate our engagement :) Honestly. I like you. Sometimes I don't like some of people's behaviour but I still like them. Logic again.
I would leave you with this:
I have friends going back fifty years now. I think, logically again, this would indicate I am pretty good at relating and relationships? My friends and I are all accountable and quite conscious humans though. When we have a fight we sit and talk and figure out where we have gone wrong. We don't do the dysfunction thing and avoid confrontation. This does make for greater intimacy, by the way. And far more love and respect. It is a skill though. Most of my generation coming from families with grandparents who were in wars and the inevitable fallout the followed. Still... we are the kind of people who take responsibility for ourselves and have changed what wasn't working. See? Fifty years, man! That's something, huh?! Love them to bits. :D
They are all pretty individual individuals though. And scattered to the far corners of the earth! From Berlin to Shanghai - literally. Yet whenever we meet up after sometimes years, things are exactly the same. Because we all are who we are and we accept each other in full. This is how you know your people, I think...
I suspect you and I, and a couple of other folks around here, could pull that off with some work! So to you always <3
Speaking of James Hillman: I will be the seventh person, I know who joined this community this last year, who will be taking a break (6 including @@@juliamulcah - who I still check on because that's how I roll for real - have left in full, N) - I think that the community not bothering to take this into account is both concerning and a bit delusional. Definitely not "awake" at all. No? It's also a great pity... but change takes time and I am a patient woman. I also know it's not within my control or my responsibility. I can share my perspective, people must do as they wish and the only power I have is to choose where to focus my attention. Simple! :)
Of course I will be back. Unless I get completely distracted, immersed, fall in love or start that vegan cafe 😆 Life!
I have lost my urge to create right now. And it's good for an artist to go wandering in such circumstances - for experience and inspiration! It's how we roll :) It's what it's all about really. The rest is the fluff.
Another comment that is another post! But I do hope this explains my perspective further because I really do like you a lot. And not just because you use a lot of fuck words!
Much Madness is divinest Sense -
To a discerning Eye -
Much Sense - the starkest Madness -
’Tis the Majority
In this, as all, prevail -
Assent - and you are sane -
Demur - you’re straightway dangerous -
And handled with a Chain -
Much Madness is divinest Sense - (620)
BY EMILY DICKINSON
I don't buy into mainstream shit anymore, N. I'm a free woman. Hard won. But you know that after reading some of what I've walked through. There's no going back when you've gone this far. It's very liberating though! Because when you really let go of all that preconceived judgement anything really is possible. It's something, I tell you :)
Nixon was not my icon, btw. And I had to stop following the #freejulianassange case because it made me weep for real. Sometimes we must not listen to the words. We must look at the facts, actions and motivation to see the actual truth. And sometimes we must do what seems "wrong" to take right action for the whole. Or nothing changes.
Terrorist or freedom fighter. Depends entirely on the perspective...
I'm not enjoying the experience of the general consensus/perspective here right now. It's just not my kinda thing. But to each their own. Of course! <3
'Scuse inevitable typos! Only human and I want to be off the computer as much as possible right now. 😘