STORY WRITING - FAINTED


Gloria and Jorge are a couple who are in retirement, they have a daughter, Sara, who works and studies, lives with them. Every morning, Sara crosses the city park to go to her work, and when she arrives she calls them. One day, Sara took longer than usual to call, her parents called her to see if she was okay, but she didn't answer her phone, it ranged until she disconnected the call. Conjectures began to arise,-Surely his phone died and he couldn't call us. Jorge said without wanting to worry his wife about him.

Again and again they tried to locate her, a neighbor saw them on the porch a little distressed, she approached them and asked them what was happening, and they told her. The neighbor said that she had to go near Sara's work and that when she spoke with her she would call them. She walked through the park until she noticed a group of people gathered, she approached and her surprise was that she saw Sara on the ground, passed out, but what...?


My Side of the Story


The phone rang again after half an hour of torture. Gloria grabbed it. "Hello?"

“It's me, Gloria,” Mrs. Wilson's voice trembled. “I have some terrible news.”

Gloria's heart sank. “What's wrong? What happened?”

“I got to the park and there was a lot of people. And Sara…she was lying on the floor. “Not moving.”


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Gloria shrieked and held her chest. Jorge jumped up.

“I dialed 911 right away,” Mrs. Wilson went on. “They're taking her to Mercy Hospital now. “"It appeared she had been bitten by a snake."

The words knocked the wind out of them. Jorge slumped into his chair, stunned.

“Oh my god…we're coming!” Glory yelled. “Thank you, Mrs. Wilson. Thank you."

She hung up the phone and looked at Jorge, his face filled with horror. "Snake bite!"We urgently need to get to the hospital.

They ran out of the house, hearts racing, and drove as fast as they could to Mercy Hospital's Emergency Room. The waiting area was crowded with activity as nurses and doctors ran by. Gloria walked up to the reception desk with eager hands.

“Sara Flores, our daughter, was just brought in. "Victim of a snakebite," she stumbled.

The receptionist looked at her computer screen. Indeed, she is still receiving care in the trauma bay. Please take a seat; someone will be over to provide you with an update on her health shortly.”

Gloria and Jorge fell into the hard plastic chairs, both pale and sweating from anxiety and fear. Jorge reached over and held Gloria's shaking her hand in his.

“How did this happen?” I have whispered. “A snake, in the park? Unbelievable!”

Finally, after what seemed like forever, a doctor came out. “Mr. and Mrs. Flores?”


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They both looked, eyes wide and scared. "Forks? How is she?”

The doctor let out his breath. "A poisonous snake bit your daughter. She appears to have stepped on it accidentally while walking through the park. Luckily someone saw her quickly and called for help before the venom could spread through her body. She's in serious condition, but stable.”

Relief flooded them. “Oh, thank god,” Gloria breathed, squeezing Jorge's hand tightly.

“According to the doctor, "We were able to administer the antivenom and other treatments to her on time. She's under sedation and resting right now, but everything will be OK.She'll be monitored here for a few days, but she's not in any danger."


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Both parents closed their eyes, silently grateful for this good news. Sara was going to be okay. It was a terrifying order, but she made it. Once she was fully healed, you could bet they would be walking her to work every single day.


I hope you appreciate my side of the story.




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2 comments
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Lol... I couldn't help but laugh at the last part;

Once she was fully healed, you could bet they would be walking her to work every single day.

I do hope Sara will be okay and that she recovers quickly. I am glad Gloria found her on time too

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Hello @mavisefia,

We have advised you in the past to comment on at least two stories every time you post a story in this community. It seems you have not commented on anything in the community since January 31. We will not curate your pieces unless you begin to comment.

Thank you.

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