Going Through the Puzzle of Relationship Choices

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(Edited)

We are in a society where the priority we place on marriage weighs heavier than other relationships. So many ladies see marriage as an achievement bigger than any other things. I know a lady that once said "thank God I have crossed the bridge of married people, I don't care if it breaks or not" I was surprised and wondered why she said that, and I realized within myself it was because she was of age and maybe lucky someone came through for us. That's hilarious.


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There is this belief lots of women have once a lady is of a certain age and is unmarried, they believe they are being haunted by "village people." Due to desperation many have forced their way into marriage which at the end leads to the next type of relationship, divorce.

Something that is worth noting is this, marriage shouldn't be a do or die affair, it shouldn't be something anyone should rush into because you want to escape the disgrace of still being single or being called advanced. Marriage should be built out of love, and with this, it can last forever.

Many see divorce as a sin and the last any woman or man should think of. I know souls that have been lost due to the fear of what people will say if they leave their marriages. They prefer to stay in that rash and toxic marriage because they want to answer "best married couples" in public and return home to keep battling with what isn't working.


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Life is too sweet for anyone to go through that memory lane of living in an unhappy marriage. It is always okay to take a step out and have your peace of mind. I tell people without fear I can't let anything that has a solution take my peace of mind away. I don't see divorce as a failure, it can be a new beginning for both parties involved. Don't be scared, you don't have to live in the expectation of others, signing those papers is better than losing one's life.

I have lots of friends who come telling me how they are already tired of their marriages. These ladies were the same ladies in their singles made their wishes to get married appear like their lives depend on it. Some I jokingly tell "remember when getting married was a prayer point to you, now you are already tired." The truth is that I hate advising married people on decisions to take because I believe at a certain age, we are old and matured enough to know what is good for us.


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Being single is sweet, I guess everyone can say the same. As a single person, I can write thousand pages of excitements that come with being single. As a single person, there are fewer worries, shopping, self treats, traveling, partying, and lots of freedom to do whatever one wants.

So being single by choice isn't a crime and anyone who wants that for him or herself shouldn't be looked upon like a lunatic. Many have their best reasons for choosing whatever path they want. Respect and understanding are what we need to offer others in whatever decision they make in their relationship choices.

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3 comments
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Nice points. Most Nigerian ladies do take marriage as a do or die affair actually. For me, I agree with you. Marriage shouldn't be rushed it's better to stay single than fall into the wrong hands.

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That's what many fail to understand. They just want just walk the ailse to feel like every other person.

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