RE: Mary's Journey to Culinary Triumph"

This is a story of determination and perseverance. Mary was having doubts about her abilities as chef, but under pressure, she showed herself to be resilient. I like that you used cooking as the vehicle to show Mary's character and carry this theme throughout the story.

While I enjoyed the setting and competitive action in the story, I think it could be improved with more specific details that show rather than tell what is happening. This is a tricky thing to do because sometimes it is useful to "tell" the reader what is happening, but in general, it is better to "show" them. There is a really good article written by @jayna that discusses this issue: Writing Tip #5: Is "Show Don't Tell" a Writing Rule?

You have a strong opening paragraph that shows the nature of the characters

Mary's heart raced as she heard Aunt Jane's booming voice calling her name. She dashed from the kitchen to the sitting room, beads of sweat trickling down her forehead. " I'm here, Ma," she said, struggling to compose herself as she adjusted her clothes to sit properly. Aunt Jane's demand was immediate: "Where's my food?" she roared. Mary pleaded for just five more minutes to finish, but her words faltered under the weight of Aunty Jane's anger.

This works well because you're showing how the characters interact with each other. The details shown are rich. However, there is no more dialogue after that. Instead, the story unfolds as a series of recounted events without much interaction between characters, except in the broad sense. So, I think you could strengthen the story by showing us the details rather than telling us about them.

I hope this was useful and made sense. Good work!