Do "You" When & While You Can

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When I was looking to rent a house, the first thing I considered was the beauty or overall comfort that the house would offer, and for a reasonable amount of money too. In the first house, I didn't really get the aesthetics of the place, but it was closer to the market and the electricity was good, it wasn't too far from where my relatives lived, but the owners wouldn't give me the place. They wanted a 9 to 5er and someone married too, but I was happy I never got the place.

Long story short I missed out all the places I felt I wanted and later settled for the one I never thought I would. However, I took the house after some short and long-term consideration, and fast-forward to today the long-term benefits are beginning to pay off. In the beginning, it felt like a very bad decision, but when I settled I discovered it was an overall good decision.

The benefits were that the owner of the house was a responsible person, in fact, I could have sunk into severe depression if I had taken other options and that was because, during the early weeks, I lost my brother. My place was exactly accessible, and the owner of the house was instrumental in helping me, especially when I couldn't cook my meals and the only thing I did was to stay awake all night languishing in tears and pain.

I haven't even begun to talk about how the place has helped with accessibility to my numerous hospital sessions and visits, while it isn't exactly the house I'd take, I think that sometimes, we look at short-term aesthetics over long-term usability and benefit. I'm not saying my life turned out better than it currently is, all I'm saying is that it could have been worse, and while this isn't exactly a life-changing decision, I think it was one of the decisions that prevented me from completely capitulating.

At the moment, I'm trying to pick my life back up and sometimes I look at my current decision making and it wasn't what it used to be some months ago. A lot of people are actively paying more attention to some aspects of their lives, and this is because they feel relaxed in some aspects. For example, a person who is owing a loan might not be able to save for personal reasons. This is because paying back the debt they owe significantly stops them from moving to some other financial aspect of their lives.

At the moment, in not as articulate as I used to be. I spend these days without thinking much. I don't think about the futuristic repercussions or trying to gain more value for spending, and this is largely attributed to the fact that there's an important aspect of my life that is flawed, and this has probably dampened my outlook on life. I might not be in the right state of mind, but I'm thankful that some of the decisions I made when I was thinking differently haven't worsened the present situation in my life.

Of course, I cannot go back to thinking the way I used to, this is because I don't care for the things that used to excite me anymore. It's not about having enough, it's about not having the mentality that the frivolities, the money, the doggedness, and the rat race of life are worth it anymore. To a regular hustler whose aim is to make all the money in the world, I might currently be talking rubbish.

However, it's saddening that I have to reach this mental state this quickly, for a while, I thought I could push this further. Make no mistake, money is underrated, especially when we try to weigh the things it can do, however, there's a mental state we reach, and even the satisfaction that comes with it loses its sting, the spark and the excitement.

Of course, I've been trying to push. In the past with my family here, it was like pushing a boulder downhill, nowadays it's just like pushing a boulder uphill. It's harder, difficult, and mentally exhausting. I know what I have battling all my life, but over the years I've managed to cope because I had the necessary people. However, life eventually happens to everyone. The timing is only different, but then, I look back and it's been such a journey.



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16 comments
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It's been a journey indeed big Joe but honestly, I am happy reading this. I can feel how much you are getting stronger and trying to put your mental health first. I am also glad to hear that you made a good decision in your new apartment.. you see, God is always involved..it's usually a matter of time and we will see things unfold. I hope to see you getting stronger and stronger , embracing the new you for a better lifestyle.

!ALIVE

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That means we should be thankful that the first landlord didn’t accept you
I’m glad you feel good in this house and I know things will turn out to be better someday
Kudos to the owner of that house

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(Edited)

Well I guess all things work out in weird ways, as not all disappointment is considered bad though. Well thank you, I appreciate too.

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Thank God your landlord was around to be with you in that trying time. Living alone can be tricky for someone going through a depression. I'm happy that you are better to a degree. Kindly accept my condolences on your loss.

Thanks for sharing this.

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Well, yeah, it's true. It's better when life is going well. I once lived in a house for 3 years and I loved that tranquility of staying alone. Now apart from my health I've not found it easy to stay alone for 4 to 5 months now

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Glad to hear that things didn't turn out worse but better than you expected in terms of renting an apartment. I think our decision making process can change over time depending on the experiences we've garnered. Certain kind of life losses, makes us more risk averse when making decisions.

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Correct, I mostly don't care about spending or saving anymore. I just do whatever these days. The tendency for living prudent or caring about Savings is largely reduced. With my issues and everything, I guess it's a bad place to be in. However as for the house, it was a wise decision

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Yes, I guess so too. Being in that place of not living prudent or caring about savings can make things financially harder in the future. But I think what matters more is taking care of yourself in the present and gradually recovering from your issues and experiences in the past.

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Life is just a long journey and landlords are hit or miss. It sucks if you get a bad landlord and I am glad that things did work out for you. I have noticed that a lot of them are picky and they would definitely pick the married person with a stable job all the time. It's great that you have a good landlord.

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It is good news that you found a good place that will give you peace of mind.
Congrats

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It's just like that today all of us have become very lazy and if we do our work with a little sense and a lot of alertness, time will pass quickly and work will also be done. In the next life we will see the benefits of working all these days.

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