Annulment, A Lengthy Legal Battle in Town
The Farmboy and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary not so long ago. It was quite hard to believe it's been over a decade. It was not perfect, (no one's relationship is, and will ever be), but we are grateful to have danced the tides of marriage gracefully.
Meanwhile, my younger brother (who wedded 5 months ahead of me) is still going through the legal process of getting out of his entanglement. While it may be easy for couples in other nations to get divorced, that option is not available in our country so the only way for a legally married couple to separate is through annulment, the process of which is not easy and could take ages for one to see an end.
Even if the other party agrees with the one seeking annulment and signs the papers, they still need to convince the court (judge) by providing compelling grounds to prove their marriage was not meant to be.
For example, one would declare 'psychological incapacity' as the reason, and the illness is so grave that the person fails to perform his/her essential marital obligations. Even so, that's not the end of it. The court will still need an expert witness in the form of a psychologist/psychiatrist who will testify to confirm such a declaration. Such a very tough situation, especially when the couple has children.
Legal Process Can Take Years
My brother's case had been going on for more than 2 years and there seemed no finality yet. Someone I know got his freedom back after 48 months. One of my closest friends is also experiencing difficulty with hers, considering she's a judge in another city. A celebrity had her annulment approved after 10 years!
[Sora Shimazaki]Yes, that's how crazily lengthy it is over here. The Family Law makes the legal labyrinth of annulment so complex that it frustrates people, especially those who no longer feel safe in their marriage. It makes one wonder why it is so complicated.
I have no idea how the process is in other towns or regions, but here in our locality, we learned that annulment cases are quickly piling up and the court schedule cannot catch up. Accordingly, it was faster with the old judge but things had been dragging on longer since he passed away, and a new one took the seat.
That's something... things could improve with efficiency.
Impact on the Parties
Getting out of a marriage is an emotional (and psychological) battle, not only for the two people involved but also for their immediate families, even heavier for the kids. My brother's two girls were too young (3 & 5 respectively) when their parent's woes started but they still carry today the damage of what they had gone through. It's heartbreaking, one would wish it never happened.
Because of the complex process involved, some couples just go their separate ways without going through it. But then, they cannot remarry legally and their assets or properties could be a source of dispute in the long run.
And yes, cases dragging on far too long prolong the agony and extend related trauma or any psychological stress on the parties. That's why I fervently hope the process will change and get swifter so those going through it will not suffer much longer.
This publication was inspired by one of the topics in the AprilinLeo initiative.
Disclaimer: The situations described here may not represent the whole country.
Thumbnail was created on Canva. Image by Cottonbro Studio. 28042024/20:15ph
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I grew up Catholic so I am very familiar with the Annulment process. I was married in the church for my first marriage and got a civil divorce but didn't get the church annulment. I married the man who has been my husband for 23 years this year in a civil ceremony. His first marriage was a religious ceremony as well. So, I haven't been able to receive the sacraments in the Catholic church because according to them I am living in sin. This has always seemed odd to me. Since, in order to be legally married you need the marriage license which is issued by the government. My divorce from my first husband was very amicable. Truthfully we didn't have much over which to fight. It just didn't work. I hope your brother is able to disentangle himself. Sorry this has gone on so long. Why drag it out? Sometimes it just isn't meant to be and it's time to move on.
Sorry about your experience. Here, Catholic or not, annulment is the only option. The complexity of laws affects people's lives.
As for my brother, the wife already signed the papers and they are waiting for the court to take action. That's where things get stuck.
Thank you! I'm not too scarred. And my ex and I can be in a room together without wanting to hurt one another. So, there is that. Isn't it always the way with government holding things up. Hope the log jam clears and they can be done with it.
Truly a heartbreaking point in marriage and as well to the kids. That's why some people choose not to marry and just live in under one roof without getting married. I, myself, can't even think of it yet
Yes, living together seemed becoming a norm nowadays.
You're still young hehe
Kaya minsan nghihiwalay na Lang Ng wla Ng annulment Kasi bukid SA napakatagal, maahal pa.
Oo din, ganon nga nangyayari these days.
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Legal process is usually long and that’s why some people always run away from it…
Anyway, I hope he gets out of the entanglement with time and I hope he gets fine soon
That's true. Some just don't like to go through the expensive and lengthy process. Thanks for your good wishes. !LADY
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Ah sorry to hear your brother getting divorced.
It's okay, their rift is irreparable so it may be the way for them to stay sane.
From what I have read, the divorce law is still an ongoing process within the congress. They lobby it and not making this as a priority. I myself isn't a fan of divorce but I believe that people should have an option and a choice especially such matter involving one's life overall if relationships isn't fruitful anymore and there's no mutual love and respect why stay. It just creates more crack with the relationship.
That's good, it might pass in the future. And yes, not that we advocate it, but it can be helpful to those who really need it. If not, they should at least make adjustments to the annulment process.
This feels so crazy! I got my divorce after 20 minutes in front of a public notary, and a 30-day cool-down period in which the couple could change their mind if both desired so...
Yes. The lawmakers may have reasons why they made it so, but there should be adjustments depending on the severity of any case.
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I didn't don't want to see anyone going for separation but when couple decided to go for separation, then I don't understand what is the meaning of long time process of coming out such kind of relationship. It can only give burden feeling.
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Yeah, no one wants people separating but things happen. The long process certainly makes things more difficult.
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Hello sis!!!
That sounds really complicated. It seems hard to believe that today it is still difficult in some parts of the world to get a divorce, something that is so simple to solve in most parts of the world. I am so sorry for your brother and especially for the girls, I hope they can resolve the situation soon.
Hugs
We really need capable lawmakers (Senate + Congress) to be able to push for more potent laws in the country. I hope people would understand that this is the most important role of these supposed politicians. They need to craft better laws in this country.
I can relate your blog Ma'am @ifarmgirl because I am also in the process of Annulment.
Thank you for sharing Ma'am @ifarmgirl It is so sad that the process takes longer to finish.
Yeah, annulment here in the Philippines takes a long to process. Here in my place, I heard, that a couple decided to get one, the wife took a loan to process the papers and followed his husband to Manila to get a signature, yet ended, their feelings rekindled again. In the end, they're back together. Gone with the papers together with the money she took from the bank. Hehehe @ifarmgirl