Imperfect Timing

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Some people say that the concept of time is illusionary. They say that time is a constant and it's only the passage and interference of man that makes it look like a moving element. I mean the sun keeps revolving right? without ever stopping to count for itself how many times it's revolved, or how many minutes it's left for its sisters moon and stars of the night.

Those are just human interference in the affairs of the universe, giving them names, defining their purposes, calculating their times and subverting them to our imperfections. I guess that's why it keeps fighting back through any channels and ways they can utilize. And No I'm not talking about the depletion of the ozone layer, melting of the glaziers, and global warming. I'm talking about my own personal wristwatch.

There I was on my little mattress in a corner of my little apartment stretching animatedly at the sound of the morning crow of the cock. Thanks to civilization and its numerous innovations, I paid no heed to the universe's signal of daybreak. Instead, I turned lazily, picked up my wristwatch from the little stool beside my bed and glanced at it with one eye.

"I've still got time" I thought to myself as I pulled the blanket over my head in a bid to prevent the annoying rays of sun that was beginning to stream through my window that morning. At that point I wished I could have a face-to-face with nature so I could give it a piece of my mind or even better, beat the hell out of it.

I mean its sisters moon and stars should have informed it that I had been up all night reading, or to be more sincere cramming for the test that was to hold that morning. I rolled over to the other side of the bed and went back into blank mode.

About what felt like an hour later, I could feel my legs burning up as the sun had seared through my little linen window blinds, illuminating the whole room as if in an attempt to usurp my little rented abode and chase me out into the streets.

I immediately snapped out of my dreamy state and went straight into preparation mode so I could leave for school before this annoying element of nature send me into an emotional downward spiral before my day starts.

As I walked to the bathroom, I felt lightheaded, dizzy, and tempted to go back to bed and wear out the feeling, but I could bet that it was nature through the sun playing tricks with my reasoning so I ignored the urge and went on with my preparation.

As I strolled to class that morning, confident that I was way ahead of time for the test, I couldn't waste any opportunity at greeting and shaking hands with anyone I knew in school. It was one of the most popular tricks to use and get the people's goodwill as a politician in school, especially when elections were close.

I would shake Mr A, hug Ms B, share a cheeky joke with Mr C, and wave at Ms D, all while wearing a wry but wide smile. I felt like a champion as I strolled to class, taking occasional glances at my watch to make sure I was still on time.

As I got to the entrance of my studio, I noticed that the door was already closed and the whole place felt like a graveyard, which was unusual of my otherwise noisy studio.

"This man again" I thought to myself feeling annoyed. The lecturer has a reputation of coming to class too early, locking students out and making it look like coming just on time is a sin.

But this morning I was in the mood for anything he had in store for me. All I knew was that I wasn't going to fail a test just because the lecturer decided to come too early. I took another sharp glance at my wristwatch to be sure of what I was doing.

Then I opened the door confidently and strode in greeting him as I walked in without giving him a proper look. At that moment I could notice the horror on my colleagues' faces, but before I could decipher what was going on, I heard a roar from the front of the class.

"Young man are you alright?" he started, before adding "will you get out of my class"

"I'm sorry sir, you came too early and I can't b held responsible for that" I retorted confidently

"And what time is it?" he asked mockingly

That was when I glanced up at the clock hanging in front of the class. First I froze, then checked my wristwatch, then the clock again and then over to one of my colleagues' phone for confirmation.

At that point I knew I was in hot soup and was about to be swallowed whole. I was 1hour 30minutes late with a confrontational and disrespectful attitude. Apparently my watch was late and since my phone was dead, I could not verify the right time.

I still can't explain how the tissues in my knees melted and I crumbled to the floor begging for forgiveness.

It took minutes before the lecturer would look in my direction again, and this time around to chase me out of his class.

After the class, I went to his office with my class leader to continue my begging session, and luckily for me he had just gotten off the phone with his wife and was in high spirits. He offered me a chance to write the test at a later date, with an option that I'll run errands for him for one week.

I accepted it gladly as I knew that was my only way to escape extra year in school.



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6 comments
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Your writing has so much “heart”. We can feel your pain, your absolute horror so keenly because you offer such a delightfully embellished account of the situation. It’s a great technique to interject humour into a rather disastrous event because it makes for totally engaging reading. Absolutely entertaining!

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I am beginning to distrust watches. What an embarrassing situation. Fortunately, you were given a second chance. I enjoyed the read. Regards.

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🤣🤣you had me with this. Imagine his disappointment realizing his watch had fooled him into false bravado. This was an epic read. Time well spent.

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