Almost Drowning But Made A U-turn

Wow!!! It's going to be another year soon without my dream coming to reality. Last year, I made so many promises just to change my lifestyle, but somehow I came back to my old self. How long should I continue this habit of squandering my savings?

Beatrice has been a good friend of mine, whom I always ignored when it comes to advice. She once asked me to be careful of the way I spend my salary, but I never listened to her words. Taking the side of Mina was my priority. I had once admired Mina, as she always wore costly attires, especially her jewelry.

I was on the verge of changing my attitude until I met Mina who turned me straight to my doom.

Arsham Haghani

“Hi Mina, please, you have to show me the way," I said as she walked past me one fateful and hungry afternoon.

“I don't understand. Can you explain what you truly meant?” Mina retaliated with her sweet voice.

“Do you know what? If I were to be a man, I would die just to have you. Your voice, your dress, your style of movement, and everything about you are just too perfect. I just want you to show me how you made it by getting those items,” I replied keenly, feeling lost deep inside of me. There was no amount of words someone would say to me that would make me go back, especially now that I have received my salary.

“You don't belong to my class, and so you can't blend into my style," Mina said insultingly.

I was fully embarrassed and downcasted. I looked at myself from head to toe and saw nothing wrong with me. Likewise, I left for my abode and gazed through the mirror, just to be sure of what Mina had said. Not only that, but I turned around once and once again, and I saw beauty in me except for my dress. *Was she referring to my dressing?” I muttered.

“Please, Beatrice, can you come over to my place?” I put a call through to Beatrice, my friend. She could not waste time before coming to my house, as her house was just a stone's throw from mine.

“Please, friend, is there something I'm not doing right in my body? Am I not pretty enough?” I asked.

“Hahaha hah…” Beatrice laughed as she was gazing at me and wondering what kind of question I had asked.

“What's funny with my words?” I said as I was thinking otherwise.

“Nothing; you are so pretty and even prettier than Mina,” Beatrice replied.

“Why bring Mina into the picture?” I responded.

“I knew your questions were just because of the way she always dressed,” Beatrice said.

“Well, you are right. I want to be like her", I replied.

“Do you think you can spend the kind of money she does on her outfit? Or do you think she buys those clothes from her salary?” Beatrice said, trying to stop me from having stupid thoughts, but I had already been eaten deep into my thoughts without having the element of retreating.

“I have to enter the market tomorrow to buy some glorious and gorgeous clothes that would make me look just like Mina," I said to Beatrice.

“Please be yourself, not someone else. Natural beauty is more important than artificial beauty. And besides, you plan to open a shop; will you forfeit it?” My friend asked as I could not answer her other than to ask her to let me be.

I went to the market to buy some clothes. I bought fashionable clothes and a make-up box.

The following day, I wore my fancy clothes and made up my face. I was pretty, even more than before. I walked directly to Mina, and she was surprised to see me so pretty. “Wow, you look wonderful," she said.

“You are my role model. I always looked up to you", I replied.

After that day, we became the best of friends. I began to change clothes, just like someone who was changing engine oil. I used all my savings to buy clothes and was back to square zero. Likewise, I was not ready to relent, but I must play along with beauty.

After two months, Beatrice opened the shop of her dreams and took it seriously. The very day I was told she had opened her shop, I was left in shock. I could not bite or chew anything apart from thinking of my life. My imitating attitude has put me into situations I did not plan for.

I sat quietly at one end of my room, thinking of my life and how I had dreamt of opening a shop several times but failed.

“This time, I have to make it up to myself. Come next year, I have to change my ways of thinking and focus on my goal.

“Hey, Beatrice,” I said.

“Hey," Beatrice replied, but was not sure of what to say, as I had shouted at her not to talk to me about anything business-related.

“I'm sorry I have not been following or heeding your advice. I have come to my senses and have promised myself to stick to my plans. Seeing you own a shop made me forget this aspect of my new life. Now I have seen the reasons why you were advising me. I had forgotten those aspects of life and had even thrown everything away. I had to move on now", I said.

“You had said it before and are now saying it again. I just hope you change", Beatrice replied.

“This is my resolution for the coming year. I will focus on my goal. I had lost all of it during these few months of changing to be something else. My account is reading zero. This was not my plan. Opening a shop I can call my own was my plan, but fashion caught my eye", I said as tears dripped down my face.

“Don't worry, you will make it through next year since you have resolved it within your mind," Beatrice said.

“I'm not going back anymore; I must fulfill my promise this time. I have not cried like a baby before, but with this, I have learned my lesson, I said.